Concord
by brookemopolitan
Summary: "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival" C.S Lewis. In the aftermath of the toxin, Castle realises that he can't be there for Beckett the way he once was, but he'll be damned if he leaves her partnerless and lonely. Post 602, lots of Beckcord/Rickcord bromance
1. Chapter 1

**So... this fic assumes that you have seen Valkyrie. I cannot promise that it will remain spoiler free beyond that (though at this stage it is purely speculative), so I advise the non spoilers in our community to use their discretion.**

**I am of the opinion that the DC move is the best thing the show could have done. It shook up a formula that was running the risk of becoming quite stale and they've really allowed the actors on the show to grow because of it and as far as I'm concerned, they can take their time heading back to NYC (Yes, I know that's the foundation of the show and they are heading there...they're just going to have to really sell me on the why Kate would want to go back). I'm a MASSIVE McCord fan and I firmly believe that her character is an important plant for future story action. I also think the idea that McCord is a cautionary tale is a little bit of an oversimplification (and does a bit of disservice to the work of Lisa Edelstein, who has created quite a layered character, IMO) and with that in mind, I will be exploring the fairly detailed backstory I have cooked up for her in my head... so if you're really neg on McCord and DC generally, this may not be the fic for you!**

**By that awfully long author's note, let's all assume I don't own Castle (I don't, btw)**

* * *

The toxin that Castle had been exposed to… it was horrific. Bile rose in Kate' throat as she remembered watching him fall prey to the neurotoxin; the vibrant man who made her simultaneously laugh and want to wring his neck slowly being reduced to a shadow of himself. She ran a hand through his hair. He was heavily sedated. The doctors said he would probably need to sleep for a few hours; his body had been through significant trauma and it simply needed time to recover.

She was probably supposed to be filling out paperwork, or giving a statement. Hell, she should probably be figuring out how she was going to explain allowing a civilian to assist investigating a highly classified case. There were definitely work related things she was supposed to be doing. Kate reached behind her neck and undid her chain, slipping her engagement ring off and onto her finger. She was far too weary to be Agent Beckett right now. She simply wanted to be Kate, a nervous fiancée who was going to get to have a really exciting conversation with her soon to be stepdaughter and mother-in-law. She didn't know how she was going to make this one okay.

She wrapped her hand around his, planting herself on the edge of his bed. There was no way she was going to let him wake up alone. The tiny white room was claustrophobic and she desperately longed for a window to throw open, if only to disrupt the sterile stillness of the room.

She missed New York. There was always noise in the city that never sleeps. The DC hospital room was eerily quiet, the silence punctuated by the steady beep of Castle's heart monitor. There had been concerns that the toxin would do irreparable damage to his organs, but so far, the tests had all come back clean.

There was nothing to do but wait.

"That's a gorgeous ring," A voice called out behind her.

Kate turned around. "Hey, McCord," she greeted her, voice scratchy with exhaustion. She didn't know why her partner was at the hospital; and she also knew she didn't have it in her to be reamed out. Kate desperately hoped she wouldn't cry.

"Rachel, please," she gave Kate a hesitant smile.

"Call me Kate then." She tightened her grip on Castle's hand, willing him to wake up and smooth over this awkward tension in the room. Her partner had been instrumental in finding the antidote to the toxin Castle had been exposed to. She'd seen Kate at her very worst and neither woman was sure of the social mores of the present situation.

"The pair of you make an amazing team," McCord offered.

"I fought it for a long time," Kate confessed quietly. "Starting to regret that now." She turned back to face Castle, wishing sheer force of will could force him to wake up.

McCord cleared her throat awkwardly. "I came by to let you know that I've dealt with everything. I's have been dotted, t's are crossed, the brass are satisfied. The only thing you need to worry about is him."

That shocked Kate. She knew she had a good, solid partner in McCord, but she'd never expected that McCord would go anything beyond the line of duty for her. "Thank you," she answered hoarsely.

McCord inclined her head slightly, "I'll go. I just thought you'd want to know."

The words slipped out of Kate's mouth before she could filter them. "I wouldn't mind if you stayed."

Kate was shocked; she meant every word. The feeling of unity, knowing that she was part of a team- she missed that. Perhaps this was the way to start bridging the gap? DC was a different world, and she needed to rely on the people she worked with in a way that she clearly couldn't rely on Castle anymore. She needed to protect him from the world she'd found herself in. Keep him safe from the insidious threats that had never existed before.

"I can stay," McCord agreed, stepping into the room and pulling up a chair.

There was a strange sense of comfort in knowing that she wasn't alone. "I am not looking forward to calling his daughter," Kate sighed. She looked over her shoulder to her new partner. "She hates me."

"You're stealing her Daddy away. I can imagine she's a little scared."

Rachel had, of course, hit the nail right on the head. "Angry almost stepdaughters, long distance relationships and exposure to experimental pathogens. Welcome to my life," Kate griped. "You sure you signed up for this?"

"I'm tougher than I look," McCord replied drily. A heavy silence fell over the room. Only the steady beep, beep, beep of the monitory accompanied them. "You know he's going to be okay, right?"

Kate let out a slightly damp chuckle. "He thought he was bitten by a vampire. Then he thought he fell prey to a Mummy's curse. And then there was a cursed DVD," she rolled her eyes at McCord's disbelieving stare, "We have faced dirty bombs, being locked in a freezer. We went for a dip in the Hudson. Hell, we even survived a rogue tiger. I can't believe our luck finally ran out."

"He'll wake up, Kate. Give it time."

"The doctors said," Kate gave a shuddering gasp, "They said that there's no way of knowing if the toxin caused permanent brain damage." She couldn't continue. Bile crept up her throat… his mind, that beautiful brain of his that she loved so much and that had given her so much- that could be gone forever. She could feel tears begin to leak down her cheeks as panic seized her body. She'd only just agreed to forever; this couldn't be over yet.

"Kate, you need to stand up, walk outside and count to ten, then walk back in here. Don't let this be the first thing he sees," McCord whispered seriously.

"I don't want to leave him alone," Kate admitted.

"He won't be," McCord insisted. "Now go pull yourself together."

Kate nodded, dropping her feet to the floor and rising to stand on unsteady feet. She gave Castle's hand one final squeeze and moved toward the tiny bathroom.

Castle's grip on her hand stopped her in her tracks.

He let out a loud groan.

* * *

**oooh! Cliffhanger! I imagine that this fic will be about 2-3 chapters, FYI.**

Let me know what you think! My inbox also enjoys smiley faces and episode related flails


	2. Chapter 2

**So pleased with the positive response to this so far!**

**For the people who have pointed out that this isn't the way the show is going to go... I do know that. That's the magic of fanfic, I get to play around with different scenarios.**

**I also gotta say, after multiple rewatches of the premiere, I freaking LOVE the parallels between Beckett in Flowers for Your Grave and McCord in Valkyrie. You go, clever writers. (And I'm just pointing out... McCord works in DC. Can anybody think of an important bad guy that might spend some time in DC? And why McCord just might be critical set up there? hint hint ;))**

**Given that I watched Valkyrie five times in three days, I think we know I don't own it.**

* * *

Kate's heart stuttered in her chest. That groan changed everything.

"Hey, Castle," she crooned, moving so that she could cup his cheek with her palm. "You're awake," she sighed happily.

He let out another groan.

This time, the groan didn't give her such a rush of joy. Kate forced herself to remain calm. "Castle," she murmured. "I'm so glad you're awake," she told him.

Dimly, Kate recognised the sound of a door opening and closing.

The panic was starting to creep in. She felt him reach for her hand and squeeze her fingers. The cool grip of his hand on her clammy palm was reassuring, but all she wanted to hear was his voice.

"Castle, I need you to use your words," her thumb traced his cheekbone, "Can you do that for me, babe?"

He smacked his lips slightly. "Is babe only for when I'm dying, or is that a thing now?" he asked, his voice hoarse and raspy.

Kate let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding. She leaned forward from her perch at the end of the bed and pressed her lips against his. "It can be whatever you like," she promised. She couldn't stop kissing him, peppering her lips against his stubbly cheeks and face, "as long as you never, ever scare me like that again."

"I'm okay, Kate," he promised, "I love you."

Kate's words were cut off as a barrage of doctors and nurses entered the room, shooing her away, ready to perform every test known to mankind.

* * *

She wasn't letting him go. She was probably being foolish, clinging to his arm as he called his mother and daughter, swearing to them that he had the word of several doctors that he was fit as a fiddle.

He slung his arm around her, drawing her close as they made their way to the parking lot. She could feel his warmth through the thin material of her blouse, so she slipped her arm around his waist and let a tiny smile creep over her lips. They were okay. The fairytale was still alive.

He stopped abruptly, scooping her up and pulling her into a bone-crushing embrace. His arms were warm and solid around her and she buried her head into the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of his skin.

He pressed a kiss against the crown of her head. "Did I see McCord when I woke up?" He asked.

Kate nodded against his neck. "She came by to tell me that she'd dealt with everything at work and that I had nothing to worry about," she told him, her voice muffled. "Then I asked her to stay."

Castle barely restrained his grin. He knew his girl inside and out. She was a lone wolf, but sometimes she just needed to know that she had somebody in her corner. "I'm glad you weren't alone."

Kate realised she wasn't sure where her new partner had gone. Castle had woken up and everything else had been a blur of relief.

Castle was _alive_. A thrill ran down her spine, and she moved her head so that she could nip at the tendon in his neck. "All the time we spend here is time we're not spending in my apartment," she breathed in his ear. "I hope nothing happened to your stamina."

He dared to sneak his hand lower to playfully squeeze her ass before she broke away and dragged him to the car.

* * *

Castle waited until he could hear the shower running. He had to take advantage of Kate's distraction while he could. He tapped in her pincode (her birthday, backwards? Really?), opened up her contacts and quickly tapped a number into his phone.

He stepped into the hallway, waiting impatiently for them to pick up.

"Hello, Rachel speaking."

"Hi," Castle looked surreptitiously at the bedroom door, "It's Rick Castle," he introduced himself.

There was an awkward pause. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah," he needed to move away from the bathroom door. Beckett would_ kill _him for this. "I need to talk to you about Kate."

"I'm listening."

He sat down at the kitchen table. "I know her. And I know she seems like she's a lone wolf," he sighed. "But back home, her team was tight. They had her back and they were _always_ in her corner. I can't be in her corner anymore. So I need you to be."

"She's my partner," McCord interjected. "Why wouldn't I have her back?"

"It goes beyond that," Castle insisted. "They were more than just a team," he paused. He had no idea what McCord knew about Johanna Beckett, but he assumed that it was a little as Kate could get away with telling her coworkers. "Kate has suffered more than any person should. Her team was the family that Beckett built for herself. And now she's alone."

There was another pause. Castle suddenly realised that he may have completely overstepped and frantically began piecing together an apology.

"And how would I do that?" McCord asked.

Castle cleared his throat. Maybe he hadn't completely screwed up. "Come here for dinner," he suggested. "I'll cook."

"Hey Castle," Kate called from the shower. "I need help scrubbing my back."

"But um…" he prefaced, "Maybe tomorrow?"

McCord gave a throaty chuckle. Castle was fairly sure she knew why he'd suggested a later date. Kate was going to _kill _him. "So?" he asked, hoping that pause wasn't as awkward as he'd imagined it to be.

"You think you can feed a vegetarian?" She asked.

Castle grinned. "That shouldn't be a problem."

"Great," she replied. "Tomorrow at seven then."

Castle hung up the phone, a satisfied smirk on his face as he strutted to the bathroom. He just needed to keep Beckett from finding out too early.

* * *

Kate was deliriously happy. Castle was by her side, healthy and well. She'd been instrumental in solving a case that had threatened national security. A few days off work, a certain delicious ache in her body and sleeping til noon was exactly what the doctor ordered.

She sprawled across the bed, before reaching over to grab the mug of coffee Castle had brought in, brushing a kiss against her forehead as he deposited it on the bedside table. He'd been surprisingly furtive that morning, but Kate presumed that he was probably in one of his writing hazes and figured that she should consider herself lucky that she got coffee at all.

Snagging one of his shirts from his open suitcase, she pulled it on and padded down the hallway, her feet quiet on the wooden floorboards.

She raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is going on?" She asked mildly.

She knew that she needed to finish unpacking her kitchen. But that didn't mean that Castle should open every single box labelled kitchen, leaving packing peanuts all over the floor and several serving dishes laid out on the table. The pantry door was hanging open, Castle inspecting the contents of her refrigerator. She swore she saw a Pinterest page open on the iPad on the counter.

He turned around, looking every inch the child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "You're up," he stuttered.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "I am," she agreed. "And I'm wondering what the hell is going in my kitchen."

"I thought I would help unpack," he suggested, plastering a charming grin on his face.

If it was possible, her eyebrow raised further. "Have you bought groceries once since you've moved here?" He asked, deftly changing the subject.

Kate flushed. "Not what we're talking about right now, Castle," she hissed.

"So, that's a no, then," he replied. He grasped her shoulders, turning her around and steering her towards the bedroom. "Go get dressed," he told her. "I'll take you out to lunch and then we can get groceries."

* * *

The streets of DC were different to New York City. They were still busy, but there was less of a sense of a million people on a mission, totally prepared to take you down if you got in their way.

Kate pushed her sunglasses onto her face, content to sit in the sunshine and watch the world go by. She liked that people in DC knew how to stop and smell the roses. "Okay, you've got me in public now. I can't kill you," she joked. "What did you do?" she asked.

"Did you know that fruitarianism is a thing?" Castle asked her. "Alexis's new boyfriend, Pi," he wrinkled his nose.

"The Greek number or the food?" Kate interjected, grabbing the jug of water on the table and pouring them both a glass.

"The letter. But spelling stifles creativity," Castle didn't even bother hiding his disdain, "Pi, naturally, is fruitarian. He made papaya steaks to prove it."

Kate smiled at the waitress who put down their plates. "Don't think I can't see you avoiding my question, Castle. Just hurry up and tell me."

Castle sighed. "You _promise_ you won't be mad?" he asked.

Kate frowned. "I promise," she replied. She wondered what the hell he could have done, if he was being this elusive.

"I um… invited McCord to dinner at your house," he said quickly.

"What?" Kate asked.

He needed to explain himself before she ate him alive. "You're on your own here, Kate. I can't leave you here, knowing that. I need to know that your partner is going to have your back when you're in the field and when you're off it."

Kate's heart warmed. She couldn't be truly mad at him. He knew her too well and he was doing all that he could protect her.

"And she's coming to dinner tonight," he added.

* * *

**Thoughts? Any at all?**

**The smilies in my review box is totally still a thing. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So... apparently there's a lot of McCord hate out there (why? Why do I read the comments sections of articles? They never make me happy)... So I'll thank those haters not to speak on behalf of the entire fandom, please. Also- sending me a ranty review before actually reading my fic? Weird. Super weird (and not what my review box is for... PM me that business)**

**I own nothing. I hate nothing. Just let me have this fic, kay?**

* * *

Within fifteen minutes of arriving home with bags full of groceries, a pair of delivery guys with an outdoor setting arrived at Kate's door.

"Castle, I have a perfectly good dining table," Kate reminded him after directing the delivery guys to the backyard, observing them carefully carrying the hardwood table Castle had splashed out on. It was gorgeous and Kate knew he'd picked that particular setting on purpose; she already loved it and as much as she would insist it was a useless extravagance, she wouldn't be able to part with it.

"Yeah, but you have a backyard," Castle insisted.

Kate smiled. When they were house hunting, Castle had quickly realised that for the first time in both their lives, Kate could actually have an entire backyard all to herself. She had held her tongue for as long as she could, before pointing out the impracticalities of maintaining said yard with her working hours, despite how much she loved the idea. The good fiancée he was; he found her a backyard that was entirely paved, the outdoor living area backing onto a real estate agent guaranteed low maintenance garden.

She turned back to where he was packing away groceries. "Is there a reason we didn't go anywhere near the meat aisle?" she asked him.

Castle looked up from the mushrooms he was inspecting. "Rachel is vegetarian," he replied.

Where the hell had he gotten that? "No she's not," Kate responded.

"That's not what she told me yesterday," He insisted.

Kate frowned. "I have seen her decimate a foot long Philly steak sub in under ten minutes without getting a drop of marinara sauce on her blouse. She's not a vegetarian."

"So then why would she ask if I could feed a vegetarian?" Castle asked, bewildered.

Kate resisted the urge to roll her eyes. For somebody who was all about the story, he could be clueless sometimes. She brushed a kiss against his cheekbone instead. "I don't think the vegetarian is her."

Castle paused. Realisation dawned on his face. "Lucky I catered for leftovers then," he decided.

* * *

Kate was nervous.

Castle could see it in the skittish way she flitted around the house, adjusting the few trinkets she'd bothered to unpack, making sure everything was displayed to its best advantage.

She gave a box a shove, wedging it against a wall, the black fabric of her maxi dress swirling around her ankles.

He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his torso pressed against her back. "You're stressing yourself out about nothing," he murmured in her ear. "It's just dinner."

There was a knock at the door. Castle planted a few kisses against Kate's cheek. "Step one of this night going well is you letting the guests in," he teased her. "Answer the door."

Kate stuck her tongue out at him, before trotting over to the door and swinging it open. "Hi," she greeted them both. "Come on in."

Kate could tell that McCord was just as nervous as she was. "Kate, this is my husband, Tim. Tim, this is Kate."

"It's lovely to meet you," Kate smiled, offering her hand. It seemed like McCord had a type. Her husband had thick dark hair and olive skin, his dark eyes warm and inquisitive. He was also seated in a wheelchair.

"So, you're the new partner," Tim surmised.

"I am indeed," Kate instinctively liked this guy. He gave off the vibe of being genuinely interested in whatever the person in front of him was saying. There was no bullshit with this guy; he was actively engaged in the moment. "Castle," she called out, gesturing for him to leave the kitchen and join her. She cleared her throat.

"Hey!" Castle greeted Tim, reaching out and shaking his hand. "I take it you're the vegetarian?"

Tim grinned, "I am. Sorry to be a pain in the ass."

"Not at all," Castle replied, gesturing toward the back door. "Come and step into my office."

Kate looked at Rachel and rolled her eyes. "Castle has become obsessed with barbecuing food. I apologise in advance if anybody loses an eyebrow."

"Barbecuing?" Rachel echoed, raising an eyebrow.

Kate shrugged. "We're New Yorkers. This is the first time either of us have had a backyard. If he's going to cook, I'm going to let him have the barbecue."

"Pick your battles," Rachel agreed.

An awkward silence fell over the two women. Kate felt a curious longing in her chest to have Castle's ease in guiding conversation. One look at Rachel and she realised her partner was feeling the exact same thing. They were used to the rules they played by at work and neither one was sure how the protocol changed when they were in a social setting. "Wine?" Kate suggested.

Rachel made a noise of relief. "Yes please."

Kate skilfully uncorked her favourite bottle of red, smirking when she realised that yes, it was that kind. She handed a glass to her partner, offering her a shy smile.

Rachel gave her a piercing look. "You can ask, you know," she hinted.

Kate nodded, careful to phrase her question properly. "It wasn't a guy at a bar, was it?"

Rachel took a healthy swig of wine. "No," she confirmed. "No, it was not."

"You don't have to tell me…"

"No, it's fine," Rachel said, holding up a hand. Kate noticed the antique diamond ring sparkling on Rachel's finger. Another thing they had in common; tucking away their relationships when at work. "We were newlyweds," she began. "I was a year out Quantico, he was training to run a marathon. That case I was telling you about? It was real. But we'd been dragged into it by Langley."

That certainly changed things. "The CIA can't investigate cases within the US," Kate murmured.

"No, they can't. But the AG's office can," Rachel pointed out. "Like I told you, we'd been going hard for a month and coming up with nothing. I came home one night and I was a mess. I couldn't think straight; the pressure of keeping everything classified was making me feel like I was about to have an aneurism. So I broke the rules," Rachel took a sip of wine. "I told Tim everything and then I swore him to secrecy."

"But that's not the end of the story, is it?" Kate asked.

Rachel shrugged. "All I know is that two weeks later, Tim left me a voicemail asking if we got him. A day later, Tim was out doing endurance training and was involved in a hit and run accident by a very non-discrepant black vehicle that left him paralysed from the waist down."

Kate was aghast. "Are you suggesting that it wasn't just an accident?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm suggesting that the world we work in is rarely black and white and that I broke the rules. I got a warning that day. Tim was just too much of a fighter to let the warning be final."

A chill crept up Kate's spine. The murky shades of grey she found herself immersed in were slowly creeping closer and closer, and she wasn't sure how well she would continue to deal with it. She had always prided herself on her commitment to finding justice for any victim who came across her path, but it didn't seem like she was meeting any victims in DC, or achieving any justice at all.

"I didn't mean to get so morbid on you," Rachel murmured, abruptly halting Kate's mental monologue.

"It's fine," Kate replied, still slightly dazed. She didn't know what she was supposed to think in light of that revelation.

"Hey Kate," Castle called out. "The barbecue is nearly done."

"Is that a cue for me to start bringing out salads like a good little woman?" Kate asked, a tiny bit of sarcasm ringing through her tone.

"I would never suggest such a thing," he replied. "However, you did, so…"

"You should consider yourself lucky that you're going back to Manhattan tomorrow," Kate teased.

* * *

The outdoor table had been set with the china Kate had inherited from her mother, charmingly mismatched candelabras artistically arranged on the table. For once, there was no concern that a phone call for a body drop was going to interrupt the evening and there was a mutual understanding around the table; two law enforcement officers and their spouses- eyerolls of support and nods of understanding exchanged across the table. Conversation and wine flowed, the couples sitting around the hardwood table eating dessert under the light of the DC moon.

Kate listened indulgently as Castle recounted one of their more infamous cases. "You should both be aware that he's missing the most important part," Kate interjected, reaching out to snag Castle's hand.

"And what part is that?" Castle asked.

"That scotch was terrible!"

Rachel's jaw dropped. "You're kidding! After all that!"

"That is cruel," Tim agreed, his fingers casually tracing patterns on his wife's shoulder.

"It was awful," Castle sighed mournfully. "But I do have my own bar to sit in when I feel the need to go Hemingway."

Tim let out a loud yawn. "I think I'm going to have to call it a night. Training was brutal today."

"Do you play a sport?" Kate asked.

Tim nodded. "Wheelchair rugby," he replied. "More commonly known as murderball. Rach hates it, don't you hon?"

"I can't stand it and I'm never going to a game again, not even if you make it to the Olympics," Rachel replied, standing up and making her way towards the house.

They stood at the entryway of the house, Tim shooting Rachel a look. Rachel screwed up her forehead as she picked up her handbag and turned to Castle. "Will you sign my book?" she squeaked, her posture tightening as if she expected to be laughed at.

Castle only smiled. He knew they'd had a rocky start, but there was no way that he would be anything but flattered that Rachel McCord was a fan of his writing. "Hand it over and I'll find a pen," he agreed.

A sense of warmth fell over Kate as she watched her two partners interact, Rachel trying to stay cool as her books were given personalised autographs and Castle trying not to freak out about the fact that her new partner had accepted him.

"You'll look after her, right?" Tim asked softly. "She's all I've got."

Kate felt the weight of responsibility fall on her shoulders. "Absolutely," she promised.

Kate curled into Castle's side as they waved Tim and Rachel off. "Are you feeling better about heading home tomorrow?" she asked him, slipping her arms around his waist and turning so that she faced him.

"I'm not ever going to be okay with you going out there without me," he admitted, "but I'm glad that you've got somebody with you who is going to have your back."

"I love you," Kate reminded him, her hands moving from his waist to his belt buckle, pulling him back into the house. "Thank you for this." She stepped away from him, tugging on the tie that kept the halter neck of her dress in place. "Give me something to remember you by?" she asked teasingly, letting the fabric pool at her feet before dashing away towards the bedroom.

* * *

**I wrote a fade to black... I know, I know. Feel free to berate me for that.**

**This baby is finished now... let me know what you think, etc. Y'all know the drill.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yeah, I thought this was done too. I lied... but after a cliffhanger like that how could I not write? (yeah, so 6x03 spoilers... maybe 6x04?)**

**I don't own, because I was blindsided by that ending.**

* * *

All the air left Kate's body. Visceral, overwhelming shock enveloped her body. This had to be a joke. It had to be. She had been _fired?_

"I shouldn't even be telling you this," McCord stated. "I don't know why they gave me a heads up. All I know is that they're going to drag you over hot coals in your review tomorrow. You're going to have to come up with something amazing if you've got a hope of keeping your job." She paused, looking into both of their stunned faces. "I just thought you should know," she finished lamely.

Castle looked at his fiancé. He'd never seen her so pale before. "Thanks, Rachel," he murmured. He knew Kate's by-the-book partner was taking a huge risk in coming to spill the beans and he was grateful Kate wouldn't be blindsided.

Rachel nodded and shrugged. They had a strange sort of understanding: the partners of the formidable Kate Beckett. "I'll see myself out."

The door shut with a snick. Castle turned to face Kate.

"So, I guess we don't need that apartment anymore," Kate mused, her voice monotone. She didn't even realise that she'd started shaking. She looked up at Castle. "I don't regret it," she sighed. "I did the right thing." She paused, finally making eye contact with Castle. "I did the right thing, didn't I?"

"You absolutely did the right thing," he reassured her. "You wouldn't be the Kate Beckett I love if you didn't." He stepped toward her.

"Please don't hug me," she requested quickly, her hands thrown up as if to fend off an attack. She saw the hurt look on his face. "If you hug me, I'm going to lose it and I don't think I'm ready to lose it yet," she warned him.

She was trying so very desperately to keep it all together. He knew that she needed to fall apart, but he also knew she needed to have control over when that happened. "Okay," he agreed, pulling out his phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm booking a ticket on the 8am flight to DC," he replied. "Did you really think I was going to let you go back to the wolves alone?" He asked.

"You just don't want to be here when the whole motley crew comes back from their yoga retreat," she accused him, the teasing bite noticeably absent from her tone. She scraped a hand through her hair. "I need to be alone for a little while," she told him. "I'm going to go take a bath."

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Castle asked her.

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head, brushing a kiss on his cheek as she walked past.

* * *

Kate slipped into bed hours later, her skin prune-y, smelling strongly of her favourite bath salts. She curled into Castle's side, her head burrowed against his neck. Kate sighed and breathed deeply, the smell of his warm skin comforting. "What happens next?" she whispered.

"We go pack up your things and you come back. Or we stay there if that's what you want. We'll figure it out, Kate."

"I don't know who I am anymore," she admitted.

"You're not the job, Kate. You are so much more than that. You always were. Now you have the chance to redefine yourself as whatever you want to be."

His fingers traced up and down her bare arm, eliciting a shiver. His touch and gentle words were a balm on her aching heart and she gave in to the whirling storm of emotions. "I got fired, Castle," she sighed, words hitching around the lump in her throat. The weight of the world on her shoulders was simply too much. The gentle brush of his lips on her forehead was the straw that broke the camel's back; she succumbed to the tears that had been threatening to fall since the moment McCord broke the news. The abject feeling of failure was all consuming and she let herself weep away the pain, her tears soaking the fabric of her fiancée's shirt.

His words of comfort were a tender hum in her ear, a tiny reminder that she wasn't alone in her ocean of pain. She slowly calmed down to stuttering hiccups, her eyes sore and puffy.

"Just sleep, Kate," Castle breathed in her ear. "We can figure this out, I promise. Just sleep first."

He was her calm in the storm. Her warm, familiar presence in the midst of chaos. In the darkness of his bedroom, she trusted him to keep her upright, allowing herself the vulnerability to fall into a fitful sleep.

* * *

By the time he woke up the next morning, her armour was back on. The vulnerability of the night before had dissipated, the tough face of Kate Beckett, justice crusader firmly applied.

The immaculately presented façade wavered for just a second when he presented her a latte, signature foam heart atop the caffeine jolt he knew she desperately needed. She gave him the same broken look that had shattered him for years, accepting the cup without a word.

He knew slipping his arm around her shoulder as they waited to check into their flight was strictly verboten and that he'd probably have his arm snapped off for his efforts. He conceded that, but he couldn't stop himself from resting his hand on the small of her back as they waited in the queue.

She didn't want to leave his side. He'd already given up so much so that she could chase her futile dream, surely she could be selfish and keep her partner with her through the upcoming ordeals.

He was on her wavelength, as usual. Wordlessly, he stepped over to McCord and plucked the boarding pass from her hand, passing her his business class ticket in exchange. McCord only nodded.

Castle sat quietly in his seat on the plane, all too aware that complaining about the fact that his knees were jammed up somewhere near his armpits wasn't exactly what Kate needed to hear. She buckled herself in, her stoic silence speaking volumes. When she reached out to take his hand, the presence of her engagement ring on her finger put a smile on his face.

* * *

Kate had endured her fair share of chewing outs over the years, but this one was of epic proportions. She sat, straight backed as vitriol was thrown her way, accusations of threatening national security and going rogue for her own misguided sense of glory thrown at her like barbs. Her sleeves were rolled, top button undone in her own tiny sense of rebellion.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Kate stared down the Attorney-General's lackey, ice in her glare. "I would do it again in a heartbeat," she announced.

That was it. The final tie was severed. She stood and walked out of the room, walking to her desk. She stood tall, unashamed in the face of the staring. She neatly stacked her belongings into a box, the piercing stare of her former partner heavy on her back.

* * *

For the first time, Kate was actually grateful she hadn't bothered to unpack properly. It only made it easier for her return home.

"Maybe we can just stay here," Castle suggested.

"If you don't want the weird fruitarian kid in your loft, tell him so. You own the place, remember?" Kate reminded him, linking hands with him and pulling him off the couch. A strange lightness had replaced all of that morning's unease. She just wanted to go home.

"And have Alexis more determined to run away forever into the sunset with him?"

"I'll tell him then," Kate suggested.

"Did you just invite yourself to live with me?" Castle asked.

Kate stuck out her tongue. "Well, I am about to become homeless. I guess I could hock this pretty, pretty ring for a nicer square of pavement in Alphabet City." She wiggled her fingers playfully.

Castle grabbed her by the waist, blowing a raspberry into her neck. "Don't you dare," He growled against her skin, fingers tickling against her ribcage.

A knock at the door punctuated Kate's shrill giggles. She pressed her lips against Castle's in a loud, smacking kiss before dashing over to the door.

She swung the door open and instantly felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured all over her. "Rachel," she gasped. Her unease lightened when she saw Tim next to her. "Hi," she greeted them, a frown on her face as she felt that familiar spark of awkwardness that always marked her social interactions with Rachel. "Come in."

"We figured you'd be packing and that you might want dinner," Tim explained as he rolled through the frame. "But then I realised that I have no idea what takeout you guys like and I figured that Castle might want to check out my pimped out mobility ride and we could discuss manly things like beer and cigars. Takeout is on me," he offered. He was clearly just as metrosexual as Castle and was trying to drag her fiancée out of the house so that Kate could have a moment with Rachel.

It worked. "I love being manly," Castle agreed, checking his pocket for his wallet as he strode toward the front door, gesturing for Tim to roll out before he pulled the heavy oak door shut behind him.

Kate shot Rachel a closed mouth smile and shrugged.

"Kate, I'm sorry," Rachel implored.

"Don't be," Kate interjected, holding up a hand to stop what was probably going to be a long apology. "I'm not. I'm relieved."

"Relieved?" Rachel echoed.

"This job was never the right fit for me," Kate admitted. "Letting people escape justice for the sake of the bigger picture? I can't do that. I don't know why I pretended I could. Takes a different kind of strength than I have. I don't know how you survive it."

"I'm far less content with not seeing the whole picture than you might imagine. I'd love to ride in on my white horse and shut down the bad guy. But I can't."

"Why not?" Kate asked. Rachel McCord was a phenomenal agent, but Kate couldn't understand how she had managed to lock away her humanity so tightly.

"Tim," Rachel replied, her voice soft.

Kate closed her eyes. She remembered the story of the mysterious car accident that robbed Tim of the ability to walk all too clearly.

"I nearly lost it all once before and I can't bear that again. So I grit my teeth, let scum like Michael Reed get away with their indiscretions against the people they're supposed to be serving, not for national security but because I don't want to be without him."

Kate knew what it was to expose something so vulnerable. She deftly changed the subject. "Being fired was for the best. I never would have quit on my own. I stick things through, so I would have stayed miserable, slowly letting the job eat me alive."

Rachel pondered her words. "What are you going to do now?" She asked.

Kate shrugged. "I have no idea," she replied. "I joined the police academy when I was barely legal." Yes, she decided. It was time to share the story. "My mom was murdered when I was nineteen," she explained. Rachel's eyes softened into the usual mask of sympathy people wore when they heard the news. "It was never solved and was eventually attributed to gang violence."

"So you decided to solve it," Rachel surmised.

"You got it," Kate replied.

"Did you catch him?"

Kate bit her lip. She could _not_ make accusations to a government employee about Senator Bracken without iron clad proof. "I know who did it," she enunciated finally. "Justice is coming for him, and when she catches up to him, she'll be merciless."

"You're not telling me who he is. He must be powerful then," Rachel extrapolated.

Her former partner was too damn good. Kate racked her brain for a way to say something without saying it. "If you're au fait with the latest developments in climate change initiative legislation, you might find yourself on the right track," she hinted, casually mentioning Bracken's latest political manoeuvring.

Rachel nodded, filing away the information carefully, ready to pounce at a moment's notice if anything suspect came her way. If she ever got the chance, she would go after him with her teeth bared, no sense of the bigger picture, if only to honour the best agent she'd ever worked with.

"So you're gonna be okay?" Rachel checked.

Kate nodded. "I'll be more than okay. I think I'll be extraordinary."

* * *

Dinner was shared on the outdoor table, Castle finally realising that they would have to drive out to the Hamptons if he ever hoped to barbecue again.

Kate trusted her gut as they said their farewells for the evening. She pulled Rachel into a hug. "Thank you for everything," she said quietly.

"You're welcome," Rachel replied.

"Don't be a stranger," Kate reminded her, as they broke apart. "If you're ever in New York again, feel free to drop into the madhouse."

"I might even bring this clown along for the ride," Rachel chuckled, ruffling her husband's hair affectionately.

Castle wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulder as they waved off their guests. "You okay?" he asked her, peppering a kiss on her temple.

She nodded. "I think I'm going to be," she agreed. "But I'm ready to go home."

* * *

**Gushing in my inbox would be MOST appreciated. (hint. guys, that was a hint)**


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